Second thing to address before I get this blog going: if y'all noticed Pumpkin the dragon at the end of the last blog, you might have noticed that he had numbers above his back. Those numbers were the pageviews recorded. I am happy to say that since last week, Pumpkin has recorded fifty-seven views of the Raid- and Pillage blog. Since the blog will not let me edit old posts, you'll get to see a new dragon for every blog I'm interested in tracking. Occasionally you might see a cat or something else...if I can find a good free gif website.
You might have noticed that the title of this blog seems a bit...personal, I suppose. There is a story behind it, and it is quite simply that my best contributor, Ian, saved up a bunch of images and spammed me with them all at once. The pictures are intriguing to me, which is why I'm going to advertise this blog. So enjoy his pictures when you get to them. In the meantime, worst first (remember that this phrase specifically applies to my whiteboard only).
Last week I asked, "What phrase is way overused?" The first response made sense, but as for the second one...I just have to say I don't know if I've met this George guy before, but it sounds like we might have something in common. After all, I love me, too. Sometimes. On a good day.
Known fact: people erase my board quite frequently. My guess is that they think my questions are stupid, which I wouldn't argue with, so I tried to get them to ask me a question. However, that only brought out the perverted nature of my hallmates, meaning, sadly, that I only got one response that I would post. That was from my friend, Bethany, who also wrote the nice little note telling people not to erase the board. As bad of trolls as my hallmates generally are, you can guess how they responded. My board has been blank since then with the exception of the usual and a note next to an obscene drawing telling me to take my board down since those drawings were the only things that were ever on there. I have proof that that is not true. Sometimes good things happen on the board, like what you see below.
Well, Bethany, I'll tell you what's up. One morning I stepped outside my room and saw that someone had placed an apple in front of someone else's door. Sweet, right? I mean, I would have preferred someone to leave a Snickers outside of my door, personally, but apples are good, too. "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," after all. I would quote a person, but it was more of a common Welsh expression. For more information, go here (it's a UK site, which automatically makes it professional). I must say that Snickers aren't all that bad, either. They keep the diva away, which can be more annoying than a doctor, unless he's Dr. Mario and wants you to stack all the dang pills by color...
Alright, the worst is over! Now to sift through Ian's backlog, starting with his whiteboard in the chronological order in which he posted the photos. First up is a person who was obviously very bored and very creative. Made me start to think a bit about whether or not people actually have blackboards anymore. The only one I've seen since...golly, seventh grade?...is the one that's right outside the Front Porch Grill, which is in the same block as Happy Yogurt. If it rains, that thing is doomed. While it's still functional, though, I'm waiting for someone to troll on it. Buy some sidewalk chalk, please.
This next drawing is great. Of course I think that, because I'm a nerd. Seriously, though, how awesome is it that someone saw an asymptotic curve and thought, "I should draw an elephant sliding down this,"? I also feel bad for that person, because they must get very little math homework done...
This one is my favorite of this series of Ian's whiteboard. I wouldn't recommend doing this, as it is an act of animal cruelty, but on the bright side, the sheep will be fluffy.
To conclude the whiteboard collection, we have an example of bitterness that I'm sure we all carry during certain weeks. "Death weeks" we call them, when the stacks of homework are as high as the double rainbow guy, the exams are all at once, the dining hall food is about as appetizing as foot fungus, and everything that could ever go wrong does. On those weeks, this flip chart is for you.
You might think I'm done writing, but the fun is only just beginning! Now I'm going to share with you Ian's examples of trolling, also in chronological order. The first one is just a little cutesy trolling, so say, "D'aww, it's a kitty!" and make one of your own when you're bored someday.
Ian told me this next picture was taken in front of a sorority house. I would call it good trolling until about three to five days later when the bananas in this little banana tree start to rot. Then it's bad trolling. Literally, it went bad. *lame pun is lame*
Men should get this sign, but women in public restrooms should also consider this sign and change the word "floor" to "toilet seat". Girls...you know what I'm talking about.
And finally, I can get to the last of Ian's backlog. Originally, I wasn't going to post this photo, because even though it was interesting, I didn't get how it was trolling, nor did Ian. All he could tell me was that it was his school's rent-a-bike program. But Frofro, a proud member of the College Station Car Club (the group responsible for "The Stripper" order at Happy Yogurt), actually took the time to look at the photo and discovered that a single bike was parked backwards. That, in my book, counts as trolling, and good trolling, at that. It offends no one, and it brings a smile.
Did it happen? Did you smile? If you didn't, I guess I don't really care. After all, you're just an anonymous viewer unless you're in the Facebook group. Buuuuuut Ian's mom, Karen, wants to make you smile. Or at least, she made me smile when she sent me this picture from here.
You can rest assured that I will never use troll spray on you unless you're just plain offensive. I encourage good trolling, and I want to see you do things like parking a bike backwards or leaving apples in front of people's doors. So please, be trolls, and send me your pictures, videos, and stories about what you did. I've said it a thousand times, and I'll say it once more: my blog is nothing without you guys.
This week's dragon is Puff, named after the cartoon and after one of my favorite songs, which you can listen to here. I will be polling the Facebook group for the next interesting blog's dragon, so be on the lookout if you're a part of that.
Keep trolling, guys, and don't forget to check a reaction box below!
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