Ian's Backlog

To start off, I need to make a couple of corrections to the last blog. First of all, the link to Bill Byrne's Twitter was incorrect. The blogging website will not let me edit posted blogs for some reason, so I will give you the link here. Second, my brother, the LONGHORN (Sssss) had to correct me on the statement I made. I mistakenly thought he hated the Raiders more than the Aggies, but he hates the Raider fans more than the Aggie fans. Better than nothing, I suppose.

Second thing to address before I get this blog going: if y'all noticed Pumpkin the dragon at the end of the last blog, you might have noticed that he had numbers above his back. Those numbers were the pageviews recorded. I am happy to say that since last week, Pumpkin has recorded fifty-seven views of the Raid- and Pillage blog. Since the blog will not let me edit old posts, you'll get to see a new dragon for every blog I'm interested in tracking. Occasionally you might see a cat or something else...if I can find a good free gif website.

You might have noticed that the title of this blog seems a bit...personal, I suppose. There is a story behind it, and it is quite simply that my best contributor, Ian, saved up a bunch of images and spammed me with them all at once. The pictures are intriguing to me, which is why I'm going to advertise this blog. So enjoy his pictures when you get to them. In the meantime, worst first (remember that this phrase specifically applies to my whiteboard only).

Last week I asked, "What phrase is way overused?" The first response made sense, but as for the second one...I just have to say I don't know if I've met this George guy before, but it sounds like we might have something in common. After all, I love me, too. Sometimes. On a good day.

Known fact: people erase my board quite frequently. My guess is that they think my questions are stupid, which I wouldn't argue with, so I tried to get them to ask me a question. However, that only brought out the perverted nature of my hallmates, meaning, sadly, that I only got one response that I would post. That was from my friend, Bethany, who also wrote the nice little note telling people not to erase the board. As bad of trolls as my hallmates generally are, you can guess how they responded. My board has been blank since then with the exception of the usual and a note next to an obscene drawing telling me to take my board down since those drawings were the only things that were ever on there. I have proof that that is not true. Sometimes good things happen on the board, like what you see below.

Well, Bethany, I'll tell you what's up. One morning I stepped outside my room and saw that someone had placed an apple in front of someone else's door. Sweet, right? I mean, I would have preferred someone to leave a Snickers outside of my door, personally, but apples are good, too. "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," after all. I would quote a person, but it was more of a common Welsh expression. For more information, go here (it's a UK site, which automatically makes it professional). I must say that Snickers aren't all that bad, either. They keep the diva away, which can be more annoying than a doctor, unless he's Dr. Mario and wants you to stack all the dang pills by color...

Alright, the worst is over! Now to sift through Ian's backlog, starting with his whiteboard in the chronological order in which he posted the photos. First up is a person who was obviously very bored and very creative. Made me start to think a bit about whether or not people actually have blackboards anymore. The only one I've seen since...golly, seventh grade?...is the one that's right outside the Front Porch Grill, which is in the same block as Happy Yogurt. If it rains, that thing is doomed. While it's still functional, though, I'm waiting for someone to troll on it. Buy some sidewalk chalk, please.

This next drawing is great. Of course I think that, because I'm a nerd. Seriously, though, how awesome is it that someone saw an asymptotic curve and thought, "I should draw an elephant sliding down this,"? I also feel bad for that person, because they must get very little math homework done...

This one is my favorite of this series of Ian's whiteboard. I wouldn't recommend doing this, as it is an act of animal cruelty, but on the bright side, the sheep will be fluffy.

To conclude the whiteboard collection, we have an example of bitterness that I'm sure we all carry during certain weeks. "Death weeks" we call them, when the stacks of homework are as high as the double rainbow guy, the exams are all at once, the dining hall food is about as appetizing as foot fungus, and everything that could ever go wrong does. On those weeks, this flip chart is for you.

You might think I'm done writing, but the fun is only just beginning! Now I'm going to share with you Ian's examples of trolling, also in chronological order. The first one is just a little cutesy trolling, so say, "D'aww, it's a kitty!" and make one of your own when you're bored someday.

Ian told me this next picture was taken in front of a sorority house. I would call it good trolling until about three to five days later when the bananas in this little banana tree start to rot. Then it's bad trolling. Literally, it went bad. *lame pun is lame*

Men should get this sign, but women in public restrooms should also consider this sign and change the word "floor" to "toilet seat". Girls...you know what I'm talking about.

And finally, I can get to the last of Ian's backlog. Originally, I wasn't going to post this photo, because even though it was interesting, I didn't get how it was trolling, nor did Ian. All he could tell me was that it was his school's rent-a-bike program. But Frofro, a proud member of the College Station Car Club (the group responsible for "The Stripper" order at Happy Yogurt), actually took the time to look at the photo and discovered that a single bike was parked backwards. That, in my book, counts as trolling, and good trolling, at that. It offends no one, and it brings a smile.

Did it happen? Did you smile? If you didn't, I guess I don't really care. After all, you're just an anonymous viewer unless you're in the Facebook group. Buuuuuut Ian's mom, Karen, wants to make you smile. Or at least, she made me smile when she sent me this picture from here.

You can rest assured that I will never use troll spray on you unless you're just plain offensive. I encourage good trolling, and I want to see you do things like parking a bike backwards or leaving apples in front of people's doors. So please, be trolls, and send me your pictures, videos, and stories about what you did. I've said it a thousand times, and I'll say it once more: my blog is nothing without you guys.

This week's dragon is Puff, named after the cartoon and after one of my favorite songs, which you can listen to here. I will be polling the Facebook group for the next interesting blog's dragon, so be on the lookout if you're a part of that.

Keep trolling, guys, and don't forget to check a reaction box below!

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Raid- & Pillage!

I have been so excited to write today's blog ever since I heard a breaking news story on Saturday which involved the worst case of real-world trolling that I have ever heard of. But of course, as any of my followers may know, I always write about my lame whiteboard first. Worst first. It rhymes, so how can you forget?

Anyway, last week's demand was, "Draw a penguin." Believe it or not, people actually drew penguins, and by people, I mean two people. My favorite of all of the drawings, however, was the person who wrote "a penguin" on the board. Kudos to him/her for good trolling!

You should know that these will be the last of the "pretty" drawings for a while, as after I'd taken pictures of the penguin drawings, someone stole the best two markers. That means there'll be no more lime green, hot pink, purple, or light blue drawings/writings ever again...quite potentially. Now I'm just left with the black/blue marker as a result of bad trolling. May the thief be frowned upon.

Now to get to the stuff I really care about! This past Saturday, Texas A&M played against Texas Tech (Ssssss) in Lubbock. Before the game started, however, a few Raiders decided to live up to their name and fouled up our football players' buses. Bill Byrne, our athletic director, tweeted, "Someone vandalized our buses in Lubbock. Excrement inside and outside of buses plus spray painted vulgarities on outside. Classy." An article on ESPN gives a little more detail, saying manure was spread up and down the buses and on the inside of one that couldn't be locked and that the spraypaint job was done in Texas Tech colors (red and black) and featured the Texas Tech logo. So in case you were thinking about it, don't try saying it might've been someone who had no relation to Texas Tech.

Bill Byrne said it, though: "Classy." Get this; my brother Derek, who is a LONGHORN (Ssssssss), even says he supports the Aggies when it comes down to competing against Texas Tech, and better yet, that is the only team he hates more than the Aggies.

This majorly-awful trolling incident opened up a lot of Raider-bashing on the TexAgs forums, some of which was pretty funny. And it's all good trolling from my perspective since I'm an Aggie. These burns are appropriately boxed in red to mark my favorites with a star next to an example of good random trolling (random trolling is good if it makes you laugh).

For those of you who were completely thrown off by the German-moon-bombing comment, there's a forum that'll explain everything here. As for how that applies to the bus raid, just don't waste your time thinking too hard about that one. You might even have to let it go.

Back from tangent-land. Dave Miller, a writer for the National Football Post, was quoted on Yahoo News, "...it's unfortunate this incident occured." For anyone who knows how this fairytale ends, though, we all know just how very not unfortunate things turned out. See, the buses that were so brutally victimized were actually...well, I'll just let Koda sum things up for you.

So the trolls did get punished for bad trolling after all! And in reference to one of the good forum trolls, did we brand their horse with our winning score? Why yes, yes we did. 45-40. At first, I was a little bummed, because I thought, "Well, we only beat them by five points..." But when I expressed this to my mom, she said, "Winning is winning, no matter if you just beat 'em by one point." And with that, chin up, Ags! SEC, here we come! Hopefully. I mean, if our football players stop falling asleep after half time, that is...

Even after all that, I still have one more thing to feature. My mom sent me an email last night, and it was so awesome I'm just going to quote the whole thing.

"A bowling alley in Clearwater , Florida , Bowl-o-Bama, is doing record business despite a bad economy. The alley also reports a record number of 300 games. Since opening in November 2010, 963 patrons have bowled a perfect game, including strikes in the warm-up frames. This alley also has the highest bowling league average in the country, with a 237. And that's the senior league."

Amen to that...I guess (what's a senior league?). Sorry to get lazy at the end, but here's a funny Obama video to distract you from your whining: here. Oh by the way, the little dragon below is a counter so I can see how many people view this particular entry. His name is Pumpkin.

Have a wonderful week, and keep trolling!

POW-boys & Aliens

Since my last post, I've gone through four different "topics", if you will. After the fourth topic, someone erased parts of it so that the writing and drawing were indistinguishable. So I erased the rest (I had gotten a picture beforehand), and my board has been blank ever since. Hopefully I'll be "back in business" after I write my next question on there.

When I got back from my trip home the weekend before last, a few people had written on the board. Two of them gave me phone numbers...and based on what they wrote, I assume they're male. I'm just glad what they wrote was, in fact, decent content so that I could share it with you guys. As for the guy on the upper lefthand corner, I don't really know how to respond to that...

I cleaned that board off since it was quite crowded and decided to post a new question. But first, before you view the board, you need to become familiar with POWERTHIRST. It's THE energy drink of all energy drinks, and you can buy it here, although they still only have the original flavor (after how many years of being in business?) and haven't even made rawberry or shockolate (yet?). Sounds boring? Then you need to see the commercials on YouTube (commercials include crude language). I asked, "What's your favorite POWERTHIRST flavor?" and sadly, I only got two responses. At least one of them was good (and in case anyone was wondering, my favorite is slaughtermelon).

After that, someone decided their advertisement was more important than my question and erased it before I could get more responses. I'm not exactly sure what BP stands for, but if I had to guess, I'd say beer pong.

I wasn't interested in keeping the ad up for very long, so I erased it and asked if anyone watches =3. I took a picture after I got two responses, and I realized too late (referring to earlier comment about random erasure) that the first response was *sigh* inappropriate. So I colored over the bad part of that response on Paint. As for the alien beneath it, I met the guy while eating dinner downstairs. I was sitting by myself, and he was nice enough to ask if I wanted to sit with him and his friend. At some point, I mentioned my blog and told him he needed to draw on my whiteboard. He said he usually drew an alien smoking a doobie, so that's how I know it's him. Cool, right? Whatever, I'm proud to have it!

You can probably guess what that person "wrote" if you've seen that emoticon before. But now I will recognize it anytime I see it, so you may as well not try to write that on the board again. But the story of inappropriateness does not end there. Sunday morning, sometime after 1:30AM, someone made a very large, obscene drawing on the wooden part of my door, and it didn't get cleaned off until later that night. The moral of the story is: don't drink so much that you start getting "brilliant" ideas, because that particular idea was just bad trolling.

So that's four whiteboard topics and one example of trolling for you; if you want to see more than that, contribute! Whether you've got an epic whiteboard or a picture/video/story of/about trolling, you can post it in the Facebook group or email me, and if it's approved content, you'll see it in the next post. So pretty pretty please send me some things and stuff! (My whiteboard is dead half the time, and we all know it.)

The question until next time is actually a command: "Draw a penguin." In the meantime, I hope you are enjoying the beginnings of October weather, and remember to keep trolling (in a good way).

Badgers Love Pot

Yes, yes, it has been a while. College is much busier than I expected. But thanks to that, there was plenty of time to get a few responses on my unpopular whiteboard. My brother wanted to draw on the board, but sadly, it was inappropriate content, though at least I can say his content did not indicate he had a homosexual nature like many of the other guys who draw on the board.

I just want to say that this post has something amazing in it, which I will save for last. That way, you can enjoy the mediocrity of my board instead of having it be spoiled by that amazing item. Anyway...

My question from last post was, "I'm Red Panda. What's your animal?" Here are the three responses to that:

I'm guessing there's some new badger fad that I'm unaware of (and whoever wrote "poop" was just trolling unless that's some new island animal or whatever...it'd probably be in Hawaii). Doesn't intrigue me, really. Now if it were llamas, on the other hand...

Anyway, you might be mildly surprised into epileptic shock that I posted another question. The reason for that is simply that someone who passed by my door just really didn't like the animal question and erased it. So I figured I could post another question, which ended up being really stupid since I was stressed last week over all my homework. I asked, "So who's loving that homework?" and actually got responses.

That is, I got responses completely unrelated to my question unless Mary Jane meant to say he/she was getting high instead of doing his/her homework...or that he/she loved how soft and awesome-looking his/her homework was. As for 447A, I guess they'd seen how long that question had been up and realized I didn't really care for the answer. I'm glad they want me to come say "hi". I shall. And I should probably say "hi" to those other people who first wrote on my blog...

Now for the most amazing thing posted in this blog thus far. Although it's not a whiteboard, remember that this blog is for whiteboarding AND trolling, and this is a prime example of trolling. Here's the story: this guy I know, Frofro, has a consistent order at Happy Yogurt of two happy buns and a shake. I walked into HY one night when only he and Koda were there, learned of his order and jokingly said, "Well I got two buns and a shake right here!" and started dancing, just a little. Frofro wanted a special name for his order and settled on, "The Stripper" after that night. At first, Koda said she didn't want to advertise that, but what I have for you viewers today is one of Koda's official advertisements for this order as a result of Frofro's friends who are also in the Car Club with him (they called the order by name, thus it stuck). Thank you, Car Club, for being awesome trolls.

Well I'm afraid that's all I have for today, so if you're in College Station, get your happy buns on down to Happy Yogurt and order some...with a shake!

Peace out, you guys, and keep trolling.

Alice in Dougie-land

All I have to say is this: so much can happen in five days. The crazy thing is that you could ask me exactly what I was up to during those five days that I was not blogging...and I wouldn't be able to give you an answer. I know that school was involved alongside my job, and snippets of Happy Yogurt, homework, and church were in there somewhere, but that's all I can tell you, really. So no apology from me or anything. Just the new post.

I received some interesting items this week. The first one wasn't really given to me so much as it was asked for and agreed informal publishing rights to (does that grammatically make sense?). Basically, since school is in session in most parts of this country, there has been an opening for a new string of trolls to write on teachers' enormous whiteboards. So I proudly present to you my economics/government teacher-from-last-year's whiteboard, enscribed with a dire request.

Fun fact: Mizzzzzz Branham (she was not a "Mrs." last time I checked) actually can dance, or at least she can do the Jerk (proof is on YouTube, though the link is only available to the Facebook group for privacy purposes). As for whether or not she can Dougie, I would not doubt her ability.

Next up is Ian (yes, again; he seems to have some pretty awesome trolls on his hall). He actually has two features for this blog, one involving a random explosion of Pokemon drawings and the other involving a well-dressed, opinionated, and presumably homophobic rabbit. Take your time enjoying these, as the responses to my whiteboard, which follow these, are not very interesting.

If you decided to stick around after seeing those awesome drawings, then I suppose I have no choice but to continue with my whiteboard. I asked people what kind of tattoo they would like to have and got a total of four useable responses.

So I guess that Popeye, an athlete, a Samurai, and a Carebear live somewhere in Traditions. Actually, I can't poke fun at the guy who drew the "love" tattoo (I called him "Carebear". Get it? 'Cause Carebear has the word "care" in it, and people who care usually...know what, forget it.). See, I met that guy and his roommate on the elevator one day, and they both seem like nice people. So if that guy wants a tattoo that says "love", I hope he not only gets that exact tattoo just like he wants it, but I also hope he doesn't get an infection from it. Although if you get infected by love, that might be a good thing...depends how you look at it...'cause in Twilight Bella got infected with love and had a demon child and turned into a vampire and had romantic feelings for an animated super-corpse and a wolf...yeah, I hope that guy doesn't get infected...

All tangents aside now, the new question on my board is, "I'm Red Panda. What animal are you?" The responses might get a little hairy (herp derp!), so hold your horses until then.

And, as always, keep trolling.

How People Feel About Being In This Blog

It only took two days to get the board covered in responses to the last question. Whenever that happens, I'll change the question "early", not that I really have a specified time limit, but ya know...just to keep people informed that I'm alive and such.

The last question was basically asking how people felt about having their drawings/responses posted in this blog. The emoticons people drew vary so much that I think they were just drawing whatever wasn't already up there. Oh well. Better to have something than nothing. Also, there are three different pictures of the board, because twice, people erased someone else's response and I didn't want to lose those.

The new question for the next few days is, "If you could have any tattoo, what would it look like?" Hopefully this'll be as interesting as I think it'll be.

Anyway, have a wonderful Saturday evening, and keep trolling.

Facebook & 1st Features

Yesterday, I made a Facebook group for the blog and added a bunch of people who I thought might be interested. So far, I've received several positive responses (maybe around ten, but that's a lot to me) and have even obtained an idea that will make this blog a lot more interesting. See, my friend Devon posted the first inkling of this magical idea, saying she might have some old photos from her whiteboard during her freshman year (she was in a very good location, thus epicness ninja'd its way onto her board). Then one of my other friends, Ian, posted later, saying he was determined to get the most epic whiteboard ever. That is how it has come about that now all of my friends can post pics of their whiteboards on the FB group, and I will upload the best of those to this blog. So yay...and stuff.

Anyway, for those of you in the FB group, you're probably thinking, "Yada-yada-yada we've heard all this already, because we're the super special informed group." And right you are! So now it's time for the next subject of interest: the answers to the last question I posted. I asked, "What's your favorite snowcone flavor? Or just draw a kitteh." People only drew kittens, so I guess they only like kitten-flavored snowcones. I would've taken a picture, but that one person drew a penis again, this time covering other people's artwork. And if y'all don't like that "p-word", don't worry; I'm not going to write about that person anymore. But if y'all plan to write/draw on my board, just know that inappropriate content will not be featured in this blog.

I added a new question to the board, this time asking how people feel about being featured in the blog. Of course, I requested that they draw an emoticon. So far, I've gotten two emoticons that are not necessarily encouraging, those being :/ and >:O. But I haven't closed the question yet, so hopefully somebody will be happy about it. Or really my hope is that those two were just being trolls (and remember, being a troll is not always a bad thing, so I don't always mean it as an insult).

Before I go to features, I just want to give one more update. For my actual board, I cut off the corner of a Target bag and taped it beneath the board as a marker boat since I have three markers that take up way too much canvas space. That is all.

Now it's time for features. First up is Jess, who claims to live on somewhat of a Hogwarts-y campus with stone buildings. And oddly enough, the houses/dorms are named after different areas of Hogwarts (I think...I've never read the HP series). She said her roommate put up notes with tabs for the different houses/dorms so that people could write their names on them. I think it looks pretty cool, and it's a great way to get people's locations without having them write on the whiteboard (gotta save that for pretty things).

Second is Claire. It is true that what you see below is not a whiteboard, but rather a toilet paper pyramid. The details on FB are a little fuzzy, but I'm guessing Claire meant that the door in the pic is the RA's door, and he/she sells those "communal" TP rolls. Regardless of what they are, they still have relation to the blog in an abstract way (for which I feel very clever for discovering): instead of T-rolling, this pic is TP-rolling. Haha, get it? I threw that extra "P" in there and made the abbreviation part of the...y'know what, stop looking at me like that. Captain Obvious is obvious for the oblivious out there.

The final feature of this post is for Ian. I'm just guessing from his determination and this particular photo that he's going to have several epic whiteboards. The story behind this one is that the smoke detector spazzed out at 1AM when someone burned popcorn, so someone did a little relatable trolling...and someone else did some very random trolling. If you can't determine which is relatable and which is random, call the Mental Health Hotline; based on their recording, they're quite helpful...

Well trollios, that's all I've got for tonight. Keep trolling.